


Just Breathe

by HockeyRPFFan



Category: Figure Skating RPF
Genre: 5+1 Things, Anxiety, F/M, Hurt/Comfort
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-11-12
Updated: 2018-11-12
Packaged: 2019-08-22 21:27:26
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,815
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/16605776
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/HockeyRPFFan/pseuds/HockeyRPFFan
Summary: The five times Scott reminds Tessa to breathe, and the one time she reminds him.





	Just Breathe

**Author's Note:**

> Hello everyone! I had the day off of school and decided to spend a little time getting back into the writing mode.
> 
>  
> 
> For those of you thank enjoyed my first chapter of the Titanic AU and commented - thank you! I am planning on writing more of it soon, and hopefully posting new chapters in early December. Senior year of college is very time consuming, so I appreciate all you being patient with me.

One – Ilderton, 1997

Scott knows that their first big performance is a huge deal. Aunt Carol had made he and Tessa rehearse their steps over and over, and his mom and made him wear Danny’s itchy, old skating tux. He can see all his family members in the bleachers next to Tessa’s family. Charlie waves obnoxiously at him, and Danny makes kissy faces. Scott roles his eyes and walks away from them, heading back down the hallway to where he last saw Tessa. 

He finds her with her hands clenched at her sides. Scott assumes it’s so she doesn’t touch her face and get lipstick all over the white skating dress she’d borrowed from his mom. He smiles at her, not saying anything, because they don’t say much to each other even though they’re dating. Well…Jordan, Charlie, Danny and Cara tell them they’re dating, but Scott thinks you’re supposed to talk to your girlfriend more than they do. But what does he know, he’s only nine.

“Tessa, Scott! You’re next!” Aunt Carol calls to them, and Scott nods. 

“Ready Tutu?” He asks, and Tessa shakes her head. To his horror, Scott sees she has tears in her eyes. “What’s wrong?”

“I’m nervous.” Tessa says softly. She wrings her hands, and Scott can see her slight frame shaking. He reaches for her hands and takes one in his own.

“It’s okay to be nervous. I’m nervous too.” He tells her and squeezes her hand. 

“You don’t look very nervous.” She tells him, cocking her head to the side. 

“Well yeah, cause I’m older than you. I know how to hide it better.” He tells he, tipping his chin up in pride. 

Tessa giggles weakly at him, which makes Scott smile. 

“All you gotta do is breathe you know? Mom says deep breathes help calm you or whatever.” Scott tells her. 

“Okay, I’ll try.” Tessa says. They both stand there, facing each other and taking overexaggerated breathes in the dim hallway of the Ilderton rink.

It’s the first time they breathe together.

__________________________________________________________________________________  
Two – Canton, 2005

“Tess, come on, let me in.” Scott says, leaning against the wall outside the women’s locker room. It’s still dark outside it’s so early, but that’s not unusual for them now that they train in Canton. They’d already been at the rink for two hours with Marina and Igor running them through drill after drill. Only after running the step sequence for an hour straight had they been granted a ten-minute break. Scott had gone for a quick bathroom break and snack, while Tessa had disappeared off with Igor somewhere. 

Scott had made it back to the ice with a few minutes to spare, only to realize Tessa was no where to be found. After waiting around a few minutes and overhearing enough of Igor and Marina’s conversation about Tessa’s weight, Scott had made his way back to the locker rooms. 

“Go away, Scott.” Tessa sniffles through the door. “I’ll be out in a minute.”

Scott pushes his way into the locker room anyway. “Marina and Igor are getting pretty impatient out there.”

He can see Tessa’s skates under the bottom of the cubicle, her bright pink skate guards practically glowing against the scratched, black rubber of the floor. He leans a shoulder into the wall, ready to wait Tessa out. 

She sniffles, retches, and then Scott can hear her vomiting. He cringes, knowing that Tessa struggles to contain her nerves sometimes, even at practice. He knows she’ll be embarrassed if he barges in, so he waits until she stops. Tessa nudges the stall door open with one hand, and he crowds into the tiny space behind her. 

“Nerves?” He asks her. 

“Igor said I need to lose weight.” She tells him. Scott feels fire burn in his veins. It isn’t the first time that Igor had told Tessa she needed to lose weight – he liked to remind her every time he made her step on the scales each week. It killed Scott to see Tessa upset, especially since she really didn’t have any more weight to lose.

“Fuck Igor.” He spits out, and then crouches down next to her. “Be honest with me, T, did you make yourself sick?”

Tessa turns her head to look at him. Her mascara that she carefully applies before practice each morning is streaked down her cheeks, and the tip of her nose is red from crying. She nods, her bottom lip quivering. 

“Oh Tess.” Scott sighs up, running a hand up and down her back. “Don’t do that, okay? Don’t make yourself sick because of the shit Igor says.”

She whimpers, and Scott pulls her head against his chest as she starts crying again, practically hyperventilating against him. He knows Marina will be furious with them for not being back on time, but he can’t bring himself to care. 

“You’re okay. Just breathe, okay? Just breathe.”

__________________________________________________________________________________  
Three – Port Moody, 2010

One thing that Scott has learned during Tessa’s years of dealing with compartment’s syndrome is to never ask if she’s okay - especially if they’re at the rink. Tessa always does her best to put on a brave face and skate through the pain, even if she only last thirty seconds at a time. If you’d asked Scott a few years ago how he’d thought their Olympic experience in Vancouver would go, it was nothing like this. 

They were both grateful to have the extra ice time in Port Moody, thanks to Skate Canada, but it went to waste half the time with Tessa barely able to get a third of the way through a program without stopping. The rink is blessedly quiet their second day there, and it’s just them, their coaches, Meryl and Charlie and a few other skaters. They’ve made it almost half way through their Farrucas routine when Scott notices Tessa’s breathing seems off. 

“Stay in the moment, T.” He reminds her, leading her into the next turn. 

“Stop.” She says it so quietly Scott isn’t sure she’s said anything. “Need to stop.” 

He slows them down so that they glide along the ice. He can hear Marina calling out to them to ask what’s wrong, but he stays focused on Tessa. 

“You okay?” He asks, running a soothing hand up and down her arm. 

She shakes her head. “Need a minute.” 

He guides her to the bench, helping her sit down next to where Marina stands. He tries to get her to drink some water, but she’s still gasping for breath. Its nothing out of the ordinary for her these days. A few minutes go by and she’s still gasping for breath. 

“You gotta take a deep breath, Tess.” He says, sitting down next to her and placing a hand on her back. “You’re shins will feel better if you do.”

"Can’t…can’t breathe.” Tessa whimpers. Scott feels a chill run down his spine at her words. 

“Need me to get a medic?” Marina asks, and Tessa shakes her head no. 

The three of them sit together on the bench, huddled closely so any of the other skaters or lurking media don’t notice. 

“Scott, take her to locker room. I will get team doctor.” Marina says, and Scott scoops Tessa up and slips down the hall and into an empty locker room. He locks the door with one hand and sits with Tessa in his lap. 

“Sorry.” Tessa chokes out. 

“Don’t be sorry.” Scott says, pressing a kiss to her forehead. “I just wish you didn’t feel like this.”

“Hurts.” She whimpers. 

“Marina’s getting the doctor, he’ll have something to help you.” Scott tells her. “You have to slow your breathing down or you’re going to pass out.”

“I’m trying.” Tessa says. Scott takes her hand and places it on his chest, and then does the same with his.

“Were going to breath together, okay? In…and out.” He coaches, and Tessa gasps along with him. It takes a few agonizing minutes before her breathing finally matches his. “That’s it, just breathe.” 

He wipes away Tessa’s frustrated tears before sliding her out of his lap to take her skates off. 

“Just keep breathing, T. We’ve got this.”

__________________________________________________________________________________  
Four – London, 2018

Scott can see just how drained Tessa is the moment they walk through the door into her London home. With nearly half of The Thank You Canada Tour behind them, the whole cast was feeling the strain of performance after performance. Add in Tessa not feeling great a few days prior, and not getting the alone time she so badly needed, Scott knew she was at her wits ends. Even though they only got to spend one night at home, he hoped it would give her the moral boost she needed.

“How about I order us a pizza and we shower while we wait?” He asks her, pressing a kiss to her cheek as he reaches into her cupboard to retrieve two wine glasses. She hums at him, which Scott takes as a yes, and he hears her walk away. 

The click of the pipes tells him she’s turned on the water upstairs, and he uncorks a bottle of red wine and pours them each a healthy glass. He carefully walks up the stairs, knowing that even a tiny drop of wine on any of Tessa’s white surfaces will result in an all-out panic. Steam floats into her bedroom from the en-suite bathroom, and Scott follows the warm air to its source. 

The room is dark aside from the light of several candles scattered around. It takes Scott a moment for his eyes adjust, and once they do he notices Tessa sitting on the floor of the large glassed in shower. He sets the wine down on her vanity, and then strips down. She shivers as he opens in the door, the cool air invading the steamy space. One bonus of Tessa having renovated this bathroom is the size of the shower, and Scott sits down next to her with ease. 

Tessa’s got her legs tucked into her chest, her forehead resting on her knees. Behind the wet veil of her hair, Scott can see her eyes are closed. He scoots behind her, massaging her tense shoulders. She groans and lets her head role as he works away at the knots that have formed. He knows if he keeps it up and keeps quiet that she’ll eventually start talking. 

“I’m just so peopled out, you know?” She says after a few minutes. “I love our cast, and I love our fans, but everything is just…” 

“A lot?” He fills in, pressing a kiss against the nape of her neck.

“Yeah. I just feel like we’ve been constantly moving since February, and people want to know if we’re retiring, or what comes next, or if we’re dating or what the bed situation on the buses are or-.” Tessa rambles.

“Tess, breathe.” Scott prompts. She drags in a heavy breath, the steam swirling around her head as she does. “That’s better.”

“I’m just tired, Scott. Tired of people constantly wanting to know more and more, and of people crossing the line.”

He sighs and pulls her back into his arms, she turns on the tiled floor so she can press her head against his chest. Scott runs his hands through the wet strands of hair that frame her face. 

“It’s going to be okay. Once the tour is over we can spend a few weeks here – just us. No interviews, no media, no fans. Just us and our families and all the Christmas cookies and sweatpants we want.” He reminds her. “Tonight, all we’re going to do is relax and breathe. Just breathe, okay?”

She nods, and he feels her take another deep breath against him in time with his own breath. He smiles into her hair at how they always find a way to fall in sync with each other. That’s all they have to do, he thinks, just stay in sync and keep breathing, and they’ll get past this.

__________________________________________________________________________________  
Five – Montreal, 2024

“Another one is starting.” Tessa grits out, her hand clenched around Scott’s. He squeezes back, his other hand smoothing her damp hair away from her face. 

“You got this, T. Just try to relax as much as you can.” He coaches her through what feels like the millionth contraction. She’s been in labor for hours at this point, and the wintery sun was starting to rise on the horizon and into the small window of their hospital room. Just like her mother, their daughter was going to be born right on time on her due date, and like her father she was taking her dear time on arriving. 

Scott feels helpless, watching Tessa grit her teeth and moan through the contractions. All he can do is give her ice chips, back rubs and hold her hand. It isn’t much in return for what Tessa is having to go through to bring their daughter into the world. 

“Oh god, I can’t keep doing this.” Tessa moans, her head rolling across the pillow towards him. He presses his forehead to hers and holds her hand to his chest.

“You’re already doing it, Tess, you’re so strong.” He reminds her. He feels her relax against him as the contraction ends, and he pulls back so he can look at her. 

She gives him a weak smile, and rolls so she’s on her side facing him. 

“Hi.” She says, and he smiles at her.

“I’m so sorry you’re hurting.” He tells her, cupping her check and running his thumb under her eye to wipe away the tears that have gathered there. 

“It’s okay. I mean the pain isn’t great, but it’s necessary, you know?” She sighs. “I just want it to be over. I want to hold her.”

“I know you do. I can’t wait to meet her.” He says, imaging their pink, squished little daughter in Tessa’s arms. “She’s so close, T.”

“Not close enough.” Tessa grumbles as she runs a hand up and down her bump. 

“What can I do to help?” Scott asks her. “There must be something I can do to help you.”

Tessa squeezes his hand. “You’re doing everything I need you to. I love you.” 

“I love you too.” Scott replies, leaning in and kissing her on the lips. Tessa pulls him in for a hug, and he lets her, knowing it’ll help calm and ground them both. He can feel Tessa’s stomach tighten against him as the next contraction starts. 

“Ouch.” Tessa whimpers, her breaths shallow as she tries to deal with the pain. 

“Breathe, T.” He reminds her. “Just breathe and our baby will be here soon.”

__________________________________________________________________________________  
Plus One – Montreal, 2028 

“You’re cutting off circulation in my mand, Scott.” Tessa says gently, prying Scott’s fingers from her own. 

He looks down and sees how white Tessa’s fingers have gotten. “Sorry, kiddo.”

“It’s okay.” She says, and shuffles closer to him as they sit on the cool bleachers inside Gadbois. It’s rare they sit in the stands during any kind of event there, usually either coaching or in some sort of support position down by the ice, but today they are purely spectators. “She’s going to be fine.”

“I know.” Scott says, one of his legs bouncing with jitters. “She’s going to be great.”

“Then why are you freaking out?” Tessa asks. 

“I’m not.” He says, scanning the boards for their daughter. 

“You so are Scott Patrick Moir. You’re a mess.” Tessa giggles.

Scott sighs and tears his eyes away from the ice to look at her. “So, what if I am? I’m nervous for her.”

“I think it’s sweet. Although our daughter isn’t nervous at all it would seem.”

Sure enough, Tessa is right. Their daughter is bouncing around with a few of her classmates by the boards as they wait their turn to do their performance piece. 

“She’s the bravest four-year-old I’ve ever met.” Scott says softly, and Tessa laughs. 

“Well she didn’t get that from me. As I remember it, some little nine-year-old boy once told me he knew how to hide how nervous he was. That’s bravery at it’s finest.” Tessa says, squeezing his hand in comfort.

Scott doesn’t have a chance to respond as their daughter takes to the ice with her friends. She shuffles along in her little white skates and bright pink dress as she goes to her starting spot. He’s transfixed on her as he takes in how much she looks like a young Tessa at her first show, and as the music starts their daughter starts skating around with as much grace a four-year-old can muster. 

“Breathe, Scott. She’s doing just fine.” Tessa reminds him, and Scott takes in a breath and grips Tessa’s hand in his own as they watch their future enjoy the sport that’s been their whole lives.

**Author's Note:**

> Thanks for reading! I'd love to hear what you all thought :)


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